THE CONSORTIUM OF GENIUS
Thursday, July 7, 2011
By: Daniel Morrison
When I first heard this band I was torn. Did I escape to the days when the Dr. Demento show was everywhere? Was this the better half of Green Jelly? Did the dog just fart? These questions had to be answered so I checked out their tunes online. Holy crapsicle.
The Consortium of Genius consists of eight mad scientists, two sexy lab assistants and a smart-alecky robot who strive to give audiences an experience unlike any other. They definitely have a knack for catering to any audience. Well, any that get what they’re about. Their music also spans across all forms of original rock music: metal, lounge, ska, hip-hop, industrial, swing and more. Honestly, you have to hear it to believe it. Although this is done to tell a theatrical story in a Broadway fashion, each style works well when they set it off. This is a fun band, guaranteed.
These guys are truly great at their craft. They’ve played all over the south for over a decade. Venues that they have covered range from small private parties to the highly popular Voodoo Music Festival. I can see why too. When I listened to their album, Music for Supervillains I thought I was listening to an actual Broadway play. Not to spoil anything, I highly recommend checking this out. I was treated to a review copy with a comic book that goes with the album. You can check out my review on these and a sweet DVD that I received next month for more. I will tell you this, I was very entertained. Other than this album they’ve had two others and a collection of music videos that are highly entertaining. But Music For Supervillains is the only one with a comic that ties in. But adding to that majesty is guest star musicians, bassist Sean Yseult of White Zombie and Matt Brunson of Kingdom of Sorrow/Crowbar.
I teamed up with this band to bring you their most unique interview to date, an extra special feature exclusive to Alternative Revolt Magazine. All members contributed to this interview which makes it super long. To save editorial space I had to cut some great stuff out. I apologize. But read on as I get into a virtual reality interview with the cast of C.O.G.
Daniel/AR: Please tell me your name, what part you play in the band and which Dr. Seuss story you loved the most.
Ivan: I am being Dr. Ivan Stroganoff. I play the keyboards and do a little singing. For fun, I build doomsday machines for Dr. Pinkerton, and anybody else with enough money. Or vodka. I’m easy like that. As for the Dr. Seuss story, I always been partial to the ‘Green Eggs and Ham’. Although, being from, it was being read to us as ‘Red Eggs and Ham’. And the moral of story is everybody loved it. No questions.
McLummox: Dr. Lester A. McLummox, I’m a Guitarist. Dr. Who?
Chronotis - My name is Professor Chronotis, but you may call me Professor. Or Chronotis. I play trumpet and keyboards and occasionally lend my melodious voice to make Pinkerton sound less obnoxious. Dr. Seuss was a fraud. I know. I was there.
Drumbot: My name’s Drumbot! I’m a cybernetic percussion automaton. Fortunately for me, I don’t have any interest in anything you’d want to talk about, pesky human. So if you’d excuse me, I’m going to go get ready for my date with Remy.
F13: xrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmennnnnnnnnnnt irrrrrrrrrrrrteeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnn....
Max: Hello! My name is Maximillion D. Struction, and I am part of Dr. Pinkerton's Secret Security Force, charged with keeping safe our beloved Leader as well as my upright bass. Oh, and my favorite Dr. Seuss story has got to be ‘Johnny Got his Gun’.
Remy Dee: Lab Technician and Female Vocalist. “Dr. Seuss’s (Eternal) Sleep Book”
Lewis D’Aubin: Hey Daniel. I’m Lewis D’Aubin, the guy who can be held most responsible for the existence of much of this insanity! I designed the Consortium of Genius 15 years ago after working with a variety of talented bands that for one reason or another, didn’t achieve fame or fortune. I set out to accomplish all the things they didn’t, and have had a humongous amount of fun along the way.
Daniel/AR: You have so much going for your band and style, I get overwhelmed (laughs). First, I’m going to let you invent a virtual reality for this interview to take place. Then, describe to me the chair you are sitting in and the types of pictures that will be on the wall.
Anne: Well to start, my chair looks exactly like a stiletto. It’s bright green, with hints of black on the back of the chair, and my walls are coated with images of Alvin and the Chipmunks, David Hasselhoff, Karl Marx, Marie Curie, and Sergi Bruyukhonen *swoon*.
McLummox: I decline to give in to your crazy fantasies. Going for us? Yeah let's hope we can stop people from going to the exits!
Dr. Z: I am in a pile of lush pillows and there are images of me with my lovely ladies feeding me grapes on the walls.
Max: Well, when it comes to chairs, I usually like to keep things simple. So a nice Morris Chair would be relaxing enough. As far as pictures, I am not really a remembering kind of guy, but I do believe there is a picture or two of my sister Anne Thrax and I at the Harry Potter Train in Universal Studios. Those were some good times, the red train really reminded us of the Red Locomotive from Doctor Zhivago.
Pinkerton: My chair is made of comfortable black leather and has an array of command buttons integrated into its armrest, which I can use to raise the chair 30’ out of harm’s way in the event of a lab invasion, encase the chair in a force bubble, activate the laboratory defense lasers when I’m disappointed by one of my colleagues, or even initiate the lab’s self-destruct mechanism when I’m in a particularly threatening mood! The pictures on the wall are, of course, all of ME – or at least WILL be once Drumbot has finished removing and burning all the other various pictures of landscapes, urns, eyebrowless women from the 16th century, etc. that my colleagues have attempted to install.
Daniel/AR: Whoah. Okay. Let’s say I am wearing a shirt of a once beloved cool icon that people may have forgotten about in today’s day and age.
Anne: I’m envisioning that you’re wearing a Turrican tee-shirt. Oh! And it must be scratch n’ sniff (most likely in robot scent).
Ivan: Do you really have shirt belonging Kat?!?!
Dr. Z: Why would you wear something like that? You should cover it in a labcoat.
F13: mmmmmmmmmaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrshhhhhhuunnnnnnnnn.......
Max: Oh! I see that you are wearing "Tear down this wall!" Reagan T-Shirt! I am so glad to see that someone has decided to keep up the good old days of Reaganomics!
Remy: Oh my gosh, I love your Ted Bundy t-shirt!
Pinkerton: I have a better idea. Let us not say that. In fact, let us never speak of it again.
Daniel/AR: Also, do you think my second chin is best left hidden behind a goatee?
Anne: Second chin, you say? Leave it behind the goatee, mister.
Ivan: Hey, it’s for Lenin!
McLummox: The third chin should be hidden. Let the second one free like a greasy bag of chips!
Dr. Z: Of course, you should stop shaving at once. You would look much better with a long luxurious beard like mine.
F13: .....adiofdswoir
Max: The Goatee hides more than just your second chin. It will also hide the scar if you survive my slicing your throat open if you get too close to Dr. Pinkerton.
Remy: Not so much. I can rip that goatee off if you want.
Pinkerton: No, your second chin is best removed. Fortunately for you I am a brilliant surgeon and brought my lucky scalpel. Hold still. No, we don’t need anaesthetic; I’m brilliant enough not to have to use it. I SAID, HOLD STILL!!!
Daniel/AR: You currently reside in a secret lab in the Southeast somewhere, correct? What information can you divulge about this?
Anne: I can divulge that I am on a strict diet of Fruity Pebbles and Frankenberry. Did I mention that they let me protect our lab with a Marshmellow gun? It’s delicious!
Ivan: You know it is in the southeast. You know too much already.
McLummox: Absolutely none.
Chronotis: NO INFORMATION WHATSOEVER. THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE AT ALL. MOVE ALONG NOW, THERE'S A GOOD CHAP.
Dr. Z: I could tell you but then I would have to open you up and experiment on you.
F13: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Remy: None. If I let anything about our secret location slip, Dr. P would have a new addition to his collection of jars full of hands.
Pinkerton: I constructed the COG Secret Lab deep beneath the city of New Orleans after graduating from Malign Mastermind University back in the late 1990’s. If I tell you any more I would certainly have to kill you. With that in mind, the COG Secret Lab is accessible from three entrances – a rooftop landing pad for my Aircar, a street level entrance in Mid-City, and a concealed underground tunnel entrance near the lakefront. The COG Secret Lab is run by Computer and maintained by Drumbot. We also generate our own electricity and only had superficial repairs to make upon the neon sign after hurricane Katrina. I could tell you more, but your time and space are as limited as the capacity of your cranium, and as I indicated, I already have more than sufficient reason to kill you.
Lewis D’Aubin: The Secret Lab is actually a real place - our recording studio / rehearsal space / chromakey soundstage, located somewhere convenient but out of the way in Harahan, Louisiana. It’s very comfortable, well insulated, soundproof, and a fun place to retreat to a few times a week! It’s also set up to load into and out of very easily, and has way too powerful a PA system. We’re kind of spoiled.
Daniel/AR: Let’s get to a bit of history. I read that the band dates back to 1996. When you started, was it always the intent to deliver a theatrical, Broadway type of experience?
Anne: My intent has always been to deliver sunshine and rainbows. What’s this theatrical, Broadway mumbo gumbo you speak of? Sunshine. Rainbows. That’s the story, morning glory.
Ivan: No, intention was to rule world. But we have to start somewhere. Broadway is good of place as any, I guess.
Dr. Z: What are you talking about? We are giving lectures to influence the masses. Besides, I didn’t join the C.O.G. until 2001. Before that I was…well, let’s just say, I was not in this country. You need not be knowing anything more. Leave it at that.
F13: FRAGHARAGAH
Max: Umm...Doctor Pinkerton?
Remy: I’m a recent addition to the band. Back in 96, I was still technically one of the “good guys.” When I got older, I got a degree in mechanical engineering so that I could build gadgets to fight crime. Slight issue there: Killing people is awesome!!! I figured out that evil is fun, so I quit being a vigilante. In 2011, the Consortium of Genius hired me as their lab technician, and I’ve been causing chaos since!
Pinkerton: Of course not, idiot, I’m trying to take over the world here! I’m just trying to do it in the loudest manner possible, that’s all.
Lewis D’Aubin: The music actually dates a bit before that - it started as a studio project with my high school friends, with me taking various musicians aside after recording sessions in my little 8-track analog studio, and convincing them to play on whatever insanity I had written that week. This culminated in 1993, as a cassette entitled ‘COG: Songs of Violence and Stupidity’. So the band’s name was already out there, even though at the time it was essentially a studio-bound recording project, without characters or mad science. A few years later though, I was sufficiently inspired by seeing a couple other themed, theatrical bands, and put together an onstage version of The Consortium of Genius (consisting of the guys who had played on my song ‘Die Barney Die’.) This lineup played the first 6 C.O.G. shows back in 1996 and 1997.
Like I said before, we wanted to do everything my other friends were NOT doing onstage, and that included a heavy rock diet supplemented with insane theatrics, revolving around a theme that would never grow tired. Then and now, we believe in putting on a show, even if it kills us packing up at the end of the night!
Daniel/AR: How many albums do you have out?
Anne: ALBUMS?! Dr. Pinkerton told me we had been putting out a series of rainbows and unicorns all these years….Why I outta!
Ivan: Several, well, more than several if you counts the bootlegs that I sells out of back of van before shows.
Dr. Z: 3 with the C.O.G. But you should hear the music I released in the other countries. Wait, nevermind, you don’t need to know about that.
F13: 842316845114584151328484…
Max: Well, the Consortium of Genius has 3 original albums and one Compilation. I myself have several albums. My Favorite is ‘The Hunt for Red October’ Soundtrack.
Remy: π
Pinkerton: Three CD’s exist to date: our latest “Music For Supervillains”, 2003’s “In COG We Trust”, and 2001’s “Free Brains & Dead Bodies”. There is a much older album entitled “Songs of Violence and Stupidity” – it’s long out of print, so best of luck finding THAT one!
Daniel/AR: Your albums cover a variety of music genres as well. I like the way this seems to be scene specific. Were they always so varied? To further clarify, did you start out being a certain genre and expand?
Anne: I’ve always been a natural blonde, never varied. Oh, you’re still talking about this album nonsense. I have NO IDEA. Ask me a question about unicorns, puppies, rainbows, hell…. even glitter, I know I could answer those.
Ivan: Nobody ever starts out saying, “Hey, let’s write a polka about fever dreams!” Usually, it is fever dreams that inspire polka.
Dr. Z: We don’t like getting bored with one type of music. If you don’t like what you are hearing, wait 5 minutes.
F13: RRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKK
Max: Umm...No.
Remy: Ask the boss man. He pens the tuneage.
Pinkerton: Our ‘genre’ is Lab Rock! Whatever styles YOU perceive us as fitting into are strictly the result of your own warped imagination. But consider this: we have a Time Door. How can you be sure that we didn’t invent all those musical forms ourselves?
Lewis D’Aubin: Not really; we are all dedicated to continual improvement as musicians, and that includes absorbing and conquering every style in the book. Any given C.O.G. song could be seen as an homage or a satiric rip on a particular style or in some cases, a particular artist. Anything goes! With this approach, it’s also impossible to get bored. The more the audience knows about music, the more they can appreciate the work - and of course, if you don’t like something we’re playing, just wait four minutes or so; you’ll probably like the next thing you hear!
Daniel/AR: Did it make things difficult to get an album started if it did involve emerging different genres into a single album?
Anne: I don’t think anything is difficult. You just try, try, and try again, sprinkle a little bit of unicorn tears on it, and voila! Success.
Ivan: No, what make thing difficult to get album started is getting to stop playing with the video games and Lab Tech Remy long enough to play the drums!!
Dr. Z: What?
F13: mmmmmmmmmuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrgg
Max: I just wanted to play D&D.
Lewis D’Aubin: Not really; the only difficult thing is making the whole thing make sense in the context of the overarching story. Each C.O.G. album to date has been a retrospective for us of the years spent writing and recording those songs. (We don’t assembly-line record our albums the way any normal band would do.)
Daniel/AR: This latest tale, Music for Supervillains, talks of zombie themes, among other things. What are the themes of some of your other albums?
Anne: I love all of the themes. Especially the ones that deal with evil and fun!
Ivan: The two M’s – monsters and mayhem.
McLummox: Hmm... World domination... that's kind of the big one. Pinkerton may be a genius, but he is a dunce when it comes to imagination!
Dr. Z: We just play music and tell the stories of our lives. People are fascinated with us. They can’t get enough. Check out all the albums and film archives. You can learn of them at www.ConsortiumOfGenius.com , However you might have to scour the web to purchase them.
F13: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzoooooommmmmmmeeeeeeeeee
Remy: This group has an affinity for trying to take over the world… and dairy products.
Pinkerton: Generally, our albums chronicle my attempts to achieve what is rightfully mine – the ultimate control of this miserable planet. While I admit freely that I have not quite achieved this goal, I generously point to these albums as warnings to any rival Supervillains who would attempt the same methods that have brought me so much pain and misery.
Lewis D’Aubin: This album was the first where the entire plot was scripted before recording the dialogue. The previous two albums were more improvisational, and just flowed from song to song with more freeform insanity.
Daniel/AR: What sparked your zombie inspiration?
Anne: What didn’t spark our zombie inspiration?! I mean, have you been living in the 21st century. Zombies are so in right now.
Ivan: Being chased by one!
Dr. Z: We are not inspired by them, they just seem to show up from time to time.
F13: deeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttthffffff
Max: I have always had to deal with zombies. If you were actually able to get into the lab around clock in time, you would see them everywhere!
Remy: Being around corpses makes me feel alive!
Pinkerton: Ah, obviously this is best directed at my dear sister Formelda. She’s the zombie expert. I have little use for such smelly reanimated corpses; if I wanted brain-dead assistance, I would just summon one of my many brain-dead assistants.
Lewis D’Aubin: That song came about during a recent vacation in Houston. I was eating dinner with a fan of the C.O.G. at his favorite barbecue place, when I posited that either ‘Zombie Apocalypse Barbecue’ or ‘Zombie Barbecue Apocalypse’ would make for a fun song - but the former would be easier to write because it was a lot easier to rhyme with ‘barbecue’ than ‘apocalypse’. Later that night I saw Mojo Nixon perform for the first time in almost a decade, and the song popped into my head on the way home! First thing I did when I got home was record a demo, and some of the demo's tracks are actually still in the final mix.
Daniel/AR: Let’s say a zombie walked into the room right now. How would you handle it? First, would you use me as bait, kind of like letting the bigger guy get winded and eaten first?
Anne: Well, first I would bash it in its head. Then, I would stick a cute pink shock collar on it. After we went on a couple of walks (and I fed him my enemies), then I’d give him one swift hit to the head with my battle axe. It’ll be a bonding relationship.
Ivan: First, you separate head from body. Now, while many prefer using shotgun for this, nothing says ‘good old-fashioned beheading’ quite like a machete. Plus, when you barbeque it, you no have to remove buckshot when eating it.
McLummox: You think you’re a bigger man than me?
Chronotis: Zombies eat brains, so with you and the rest of my colleagues here there's barely a snack in the room. I'd be worried about my own gargantuan intellect first and foremost. Old Wiggy -- oh, I mean King Ludwig the Second of Bavaria -- once taught me a valuable lesson: "When all else fails," he said, "Leg it." That was just before that shameful business with the court psychiatrist and the wet-nurse.
F13: dessssssssssssssssssssstrooooooooooooy
Max: Well, if a zombie were to show up, of course I would let him eat you! As long as he did not go after Doctor Pinkerton First. You know, I can kind of associate with the Zombies need for flesh. When I was fighting the Second Anglo-Boer war, supplies were a large problem. I will not lie, some things needed to be done to survive.
Remy: If a zombie walked in the room, the first thing I’d do is cover my mouth. We don’t know yet if the infection is only spread through contact or if it can also be airborne. Which of us it decides to attack first will determine my next move. If it advances toward me, I’ll shoot it with my micro-sonic blaster (always keep one close). If it chooses you as a target… well, I’d enjoy the entertainment.
Pinkerton: I like this plan. I’m excited to be a part of it. Let’s do it.
Daniel/AR: You seem to have experience with the undead, according to your latest album. What other evil creatures have you dealt with in the past?
Anne: Faries, those pesky creatures. For some reason they just know how much I hate them, so they had to keep swarming the lab. Oh, buggers.
Ivan: Being new to the Consortium of Genius, I only have to deals with undead THIS time, but in Soviet Union, I have to deals with killer robots that run amok, as well as circus full of nightmarish clowns. There will be more about that one on the next album…
Chronotis: Fairies are evil. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, my good man.
Dr. Z: Vampirates; evil undead whores; pixies; fairies; big giant demon heads.
F13: hhhhhhhhhhhhhuuumansssssssssss..
Max: My sister going through puberty. You have to understand, Anne and I grew up in a poor Proliteria…I mean working class family. So we did not have much. And when she went through Puberty, she would have mood swings that were akin to Madam Mao! Granted, when she was up, it was wonderful hearing her talk about the Cultural Revolu..I mean Musical Projects that she had in mind. But when she was down, it was more like Stalin purging his paranoia. Does this make sense?
Remy: Republicans.
Pinkerton: We of the C.O.G. seem to routinely get our plans interrupted by vampirates, marching skeletons, the Angel of Death, severed crawling hands, and extraterrestrial alien beings. Of course, we all have our own ways of dealing with these threats; I for instance don’t believe in ANY of those things!
Daniel/AR: Let’s say someone interrupted us right now with a drink. What type of drinks are we being served?
Anne: My drink of choice – The Cherry Bomb. “Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb” is actually what I call it. It consists of Vodka, Goldschlager, a light rum, and some grenadine. Yum.
Ivan: If anything else but vodka, they get double whammy of hammer-and-sickle attack from Ivan!
McLummox: Sheep piss and rubbing alcohol for you, Scotch for me. Don't worry, I will pick up the tab!
Dr. Z: Goats milk.
F13: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmiillllllllllllllllllllllkaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh
Max: Well, for you, as I can see that you are fat and perfect example of suckling on the teat of the world, I would obviously have to say that you are drinking probably a glass of very expensive wine. Possibly of a vintage older than how long you have been living in your mother's basement. I, myself, would simply drink water, as the peasants do.
Remy: Molotov Cocktails.
Pinkerton: It’s YOU that is being served… to be more precise, your body’s own hemoglobin cocktail, live and direct from your carotid artery. The aforementioned vampirates have been somewhat intrusive lately, and your generous donation should calm them down. Bottoms up!
Daniel/AR: Is it a male or female? If it’s a female will we see boobies? If it’s a male can we not see boobies please?
Anne: Are you asking me who is serving us? Clearly it wouldn’t be human for me. A golden retriever with a G.I. Joe on his back is serving us. They aren’t too coordinated, but they make up for it with their style.
Ivan: I likes the boobies. I no fan of the moobies.
McLummox: I will see them if you leave.
Dr. Z: Chati chi cow, show ‘em to me now.
F13: h h h h h h h boooooooooooooooooooooooobeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzz
Max: Seeing as you are with me, it would most probably be a sister within the ranks. Possibly a Lab Monkey.
Remy: And people wonder why I’m such a misanthrope.
Daniel/AR: Ok, now we have our drinks. I would’ve liked to have had a bigger cup. Back to your albums. Since they are the style that they are, how does a show of yours work? Meaning, is it put on like a musical? If not, do you pick songs? If that’s the case, how do you decide which songs to pick?
Anne: You get what the G.I. Joe/Golden Retriever combo gives you, mister! I told you, they aren’t too coordinated, so why would I ever give them a huge cup to carry! Ahem, going back to our shows, it works like this. We go to the lab, Dr. Pinkerton lectures me about the large trail of glitter I left leading up to the lab, and then everyone talks about how they don’t want anymore rainbows showing up to the lab either, and then everyone tells me how I shouldn’t glow so much, and then everyone tells me I’m making the lab easier to find, and then a unicorn shows up, and then a zombie shows up, and then the unicorn stabs the zombie, and then everyone forgets about the glitter. That’s how we pick our songs.
Ivan: We perform what we want, when we want, and you WILL LOVE IT. Hey, that attitude work in Soviet Union, I see no reason it no work over here!
McLummox: We pick the songs as if we are making a new album from bits of the old ones. They usually have to follow some kind of theme. Bigger cup... whatever Bigger man!
Chronotis: Almost EVERY athlete in history has said that! Notable exceptions being mostly in ancient Greece. The original Olympians were real swingers. I know. I was there. And it's where I coined the term "eureka!"
F13: plllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy
Max: Well, a show usually begins with my team arriving several weeks early to set up a perimeter for the protection of the group. After about a fortnight’s work of observation, we will radio in GPS Markers for the artillery just in case things get out of hand. After that, we infiltrate the crowds of the club that we will play and do a survey among the populace to see what sort of music they would like to listen to, then build the show around that.
Remy: Our show is like an ultrasonic motor: COG creates the ultrasonic vibrations, and the audience’s eardrums are like the rotor. To make this work, we need to dabble in a myriad of genres so that all the parts will function. We can’t have just lead zirconate titanate in our machine; we also need lithium niobate. So if we do all metal in one show, some of the audience might not be appeased. They may however like ska or country or jazz. By playing as many genres as possible, we entertain more people; our army grows, and the machine functions.
Pinkerton: Of course it’s musical! Music after all is merely the auditory manifestation of higher mathematics, which is what SCIENCE is based upon. Our science is merely LOUDER than the miserable competition! You hear THAT, Dr. M.C. Hawkins?
Lewis D’Aubin: C.O.G. sometimes plays without a theme, but what we really enjoy is presenting a fully produced show with a script, interactive video bits, props, etc. This takes a few week’s notice to develop and rehearse. Having written 30 or so scripts for the band, I find that it’s really easy to just flow from song to song. On a good day, the scripts practically write themselves. It is cool when you can lead on knowledgeable members of the audience who know our routine, and they can call out the next song before we even start it!
Daniel/AR: Do you have any cover songs in your repertoire?
Anne: Covers?! Why would I want to cover anything up?
Ivan: Cover songs are beings like taxes. You’ve got to them. But in true C.O.G. style, we have our own way of doing thems. Much like the way I pays taxes – with expired coupons.
McLummox: Dio wrote one for us once. It did not stand up as well with our stuff though.
Dr . Z: Blinded me with Science. But it has our own special sauce on it.
F13: hhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooo o o o o o......
Max: We do a really mean rendition of Doctor Who. Also some of the classics like ‘Holy Diver,’ ‘Now You're a Man,’ and ‘War Pigs.’
Remy: The only cover I use is a body bag.
Lewis D’Aubin: A few, not too many regular ones. Our unique version of ‘Blinded Me With Science’ has been somewhat of a staple. We perform yearly at the infamous House of Shock haunted house here in New Orleans, and are known to cover any number of heavy metal classics on those occasions. Hail DIO!
Daniel/AR: What songs would you like to cover?
Anne: “Who Let The Dogs Out?” I just love how this song talks about letting all the dogs go free! Yay!
Ivan: The songs made famous by The Consortium of Genius. Oh, and anything by Men Without Hats.
Chronotis: There are a lot of so-called "songs" which I would like to cover... with soft peat, eternally.
F13: jeeeesssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiii gurrrrrrrrrrllllllllll....
Max: I have always wanted to cover the theme from Battleship Potemkin.
Remy: The theme from the X-Men cartoon!
Lewis D’Aubin: If we had to cover anything too mundane we’d have to rewrite it beyond recognition just to keep from throwing up. When it comes down to it, we're not really a 'cover' band, but sometimes we'll do a TV or movie theme for kicks. For instance, see our cover of the British TV show theme 'Doctor Who' here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/DoctorPinkerton#p/u/9/94iTFzQ9RpE
Daniel/AR: Have you ever shared the stage with bands we may have heard of?
Anne: Your Mom. Have you heard of her?
Ivan: The Beatles. Well, in future, we travel back in time to perform with thems. Then we douse them with massive amounts of bug spray and have good laugh. They no think it is funny.
McLummox: Not bloody likely!
F13: .......
Max: If you have not heard of the phenomenon that is Damien Storm, then I should just (pulls out survival knife) end your misery now.
Remy: Ever heard of Letters to Voltron? They challenged us about a month ago. I get the feeling they learned their lesson because they high-tailed it back to Texas after we were through with them.
Pinkerton: SHARE? Now why on Earth would I wish to do THAT? Obviously you have me confused with some idiotic scientific philanthropist. Rest assured, I refuse to share that which is rightfully mine with any of these blithering minstrels of which you speak.
Lewis D’Aubin: Sure - the aforementioned Mojo Nixon, Crowbar, and recently, Crissie Hynde. We can and will play with literally anyone!
Daniel/AR: What’s the in your pocket, blinking?
Anne: How rude of you to ask! That’s just my radiation gauge. It’s part of my DNA, well, it’s been part of my DNA ever since I exposed myself to too much radiation.
Ivan: The detonator.
McLummox: What's in your pants shrinking?
Chronotis: I keep telling you, there's no such THING as a "sonic screwdriver"!
Dr. Z: Wouldn’t you like to know.
Max: Oh this? It is just a detonator for use on the semtex that I placed under your chair. I only hope that my calculations were correct, seeing as your weight is so enormous, I wish to incinerate you, not make you feel like you just farted after a meal at Taco Tico.
Remy: I’m just happy to see you.
Pinkerton: That would be my alarm clock reminding me that I was supposed to have killed you after I told you too much about my Secret Laboratory.
Daniel/AR: Will it self destruct soon?
Anne: Will I self-destruct soon seems to be the more fitting question. I will only self destruct if you don’t get some puppies here….ASAP.
Ivan: Not if you pay ransom…
McLummox: You tell me, I asked you a question!
Dr. Z: Wouldn’t you like to know.
Max: Only if you attempt to try and kill Dr Pinkerton with your boring questions.
Remy: My! You’re very forward!
Pinkerton: More to the point, will your brain self-destruct with all the knowledge we’re force-feeding you, alleviating my need to lobotomize you with my own hands?
Daniel/AR: Let’s say it will and the only way to stop it would be to tell me three bands you’ve always wanted to perform with. Who would they be?
Anne: Woah, woah, woah. What did I tell you, puppies are the only solution. Well….they aren’t the only solution. I’d really like to perform with Hatebeak (fronted by a 19 year old African Grey Parrot), William Shatner, and Alvin and the Chipmunks. (I know those guys are real, I just watched their movie!).
Ivan: Tchaikovsky. Tchaikovsky. Men Without Hats.
McLummox: Well, (sighs). Ok, The Proclaimers, Big Country, and Slayer.
Dr. Z: Rush, Dahler Mendi and Kate Bush
Max: Alisa, Kino, and Nautilus Pompilius.
Remy: I can’t really think of any other bands I’d want to annihilate musically, but I’d love to perform with a burlesque troupe or two: Haus of Vigilante, Reverend Spooky LeStrange and Her Billion Dollar Babydolls, or Slow Burn Burlesque would be awesome.
Pinkerton: Hmmm. Well, it might be more useful to enumerate the musical idiots just begging for my personal destruction. This would have to include any so-called ‘superheroes’ such as The Phenomenauts, Giant Killer Robots, or the Aquabats. There is also apparently a ‘steampunk’ group in Florida with the absolute gall to have named themselves ‘The COG Is Dead’. I would very much like to remind them that the rumors of my death are destined to be met with an extremely sharp, pointed and painful rebuttal, should they ever experience the displeasure of personally encountering myself, or my colleagues!
Lewis D’Aubin: Devo. The Upper Crust. The Aquabats.
Daniel/AR: Would you find it evil to put self destruct mechanisms in the vibrators of ex girlfriends?
Anne: Seeing as I don’t have ex-girfriends, I don’t find this to be evil at all. I just call it “Taking out the garbage.” I also refer to it as “No more competition for Anne Thrax.”
Ivan: You see, you lack subtly in your visions. I would not put self destruct mechanism in vibrator. I would replace it with one made of Pop Rocks.
McLummox: Quite. The legality is dubious as well.
Chronotis: Evil or not, I continue the time-honored tradition to this day. Carry on, what what!
Dr. Z: Isn’t that standard operating procedure? I might if any woman’s ever left me, but they always stay in my harem forever.
F13: gggggggggggggggggguuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrlllllll......
Max: Evil? No. It would simply be another way that my sister purged my past.
Remy: Again, people wonder why I’m a misanthrope. (Questions like this make me glad I’m dating a robot).
Pinkerton: I can see that your mere proximity to me is having a deleterious effect upon your moral center, almost like a cavity working its way into your skull through your addiction to sweets! Of course, you are what you eat, so by all means, have some more EVIL!!!
Daniel/AR: This question is for Anne, Ivan. Dr. Z and McLummox. Rate the following cruel acts on a scale of 1-5 with 1 being least evil and 5 being most evil: Burying a cat to its neck and running over it with a lawnmower –
Anne: 5 – Kitties are vile creatures. Puppies Rule!
Ivan: 1. That is not evil, that is unimaginative. Take cat and feed it to pet rattlesnake. Now, there is show!!
McLummox: 5... Good cog man!
Daniel/AR: Imbedding splinters in lip balm –
Anne: 2 – Depending on who you do this to, it could be a 3!
Ivan: 3. It is showing promise, but it is lacking in irony. I would replace balm with Icy Hot.
McLummox: 5.
Daniel/AR: Holding the automatic door shut at a Wal Mart –
Anne: 1 – I’m not very strong.
Ivan: 5. Wal-Mart already evil. Anything else you do to it is just icing on cake.
McLummox: 1 This would be morally correct.
Daniel/AR: Sleeping with the dead body of Anna Nicole Smith for money –
Anne: Why would I want to do that? I have lady parts.
Ivan: 1. I already done that for free. You are sucker for paying.
McLummox: I am considering walking out of this inter...
Daniel/AR: Dropping several pounds of Alka Seltzer in a pool for young kids –
Anne: 1 - The kids could use some fizzy lifting in their life.
Ivan: 2. Not bad, but then you can never tell when one of those little monsters is farting in pool.
McLummox: Wow...
Dr. Z: They all sound like good wholesome fun.
Daniel/AR: Tell me some of your evil plans that worked and some that didn’t work.
Anne: Why would I want to tell you that? I really want to tell you about this one time, I was at the store, eating fruity pebbles, and a huge ray of sunshine struck down! Guess what was appeared afterwards?! This man eating plant! Wait….I’m getting my own personal experiences confused with “Little Shop of Horrors” again. Dang this Radiation!
Ivan: No work – killer robot monkey ninja squad. Work – Justin Bieber.
Chronotis: NONE of Pinkerton's plans EVER work the way they're intended to. You should have seen his grandfather. OLD Milo was a REAL genius. I know. I was there.
Dr. Z: Do any of Pinkerton’s plans work?
Max: I am afraid that your pay grade is again too low. However, I can tell you this: Sometimes a wall must come down, for good or for bad.
Remy: One evil plan that worked was when I sabotaged Peyton Manning’s gloves during the 2010 Super Bowl. I won’t reveal the specifics, but let’s just say that his pass to Tracy Porter wasn’t exactly fortuitous.
Pinkerton: All my evil plans work. WHAT HAVE MY COLLEAGUES BEEN TELLING YOU?!??
Daniel/AR: Who are role models for you if you’re interested in taking over the world. My inspiration would be Pinky and the Brain.
Anne: Bill Nye the Science Guy. He knows EVERYTHING!
Ivan: Pinky and Brain is VERY good start, but if you want gold, you must study experiments of Tesla. He is original mad scientist!!
McLummox: Mine would be Ren and Stimpy.
Chronotis: Napoleon's cook. An army marches on its stomach, I used to tell him. And old François took it to heart. Unfortunately, he took it to his liver, too. What a shame he left us before the Russian campaign; but for a few hundred gallons of hot chicken soup it would have been glorious, I tell you -- GLORIOUS!
Dr. Z: The Dali Lama, Dr. Kali, Dr. Siddhartha, Dr. Jesus Christ, Dr. Mohamed, and Dr. Oppenheimer.
Max: Well, the ultimate Role Model would have to be Bill Gates! He already has taken over the world! I really wish that one day he would contact me for a security job.
Remy: The HAL 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey
Pinkerton: Obviously, THEY were inspired by ME – why else would that repugnant rodent name his idiotic assistant after such a reputed GENIUS as myself? As it happens, Taking over the world is a family tradition in my upbringing; I simply aim to be more successful at it than my forebears! You hear that father? I SHALL AVENGE YOUR COMPLETE INABILITY TO CONQUER THE EARTH!!!
Lewis D’Aubin: I had so many influences growing up... some worldwide, some regional. Let me name a few: Mystery Science Theater 3000, Monty Python, Morgus the Magnificent (a New Orleans area television legend), the cult film Buckaroo Banzai (remember that one?) and of course all the standard geek pantheon (Star Wars, Doctor Who, Star Trek, Marvel and DC universes, etc.) I should take the time here to thank Emergency Broadcast Network for inspiring me to attempt Mad Science onstage, and The Upper Crust for rocking so hard while staying in perfect character. Without those two lights leading the way, the Consortium of Genius would have turned out radically different.
Daniel/AR: Since your music is so varied I think it would be hard for me to recommend a song for readers to really listen to although I did mention the Zombie Apocalypse Barbecue. Of course, all your songs are serious but do you have any or an album that is more a collection of songs without a continuous story behind it?
Anne: I know only one thing for sure….EVIL IS FUN!
Ivan: That question is too long, and make Ivan’s brain hurt.
McLummox: Hmm. I don't think so. Maybe the 10th anniversary collection would suit the needs of a stupit bugger who has no interest in plot development.
Dr. Z: Only the 10th anniversary album.
Max: The Anniversary Compilation will do just fine.
Remy: That’s one of the many beauties of the C.O.G. Our songs can either stand out on their own or as parts of a story.
Pinkerton: Indeed; it’s called our 10th Anniversary retrospective – a good idea for completists and people with inadequate funds to purchase one of our true masterpieces.
Lewis D’Aubin: As others have mentioned, our full-length albums are always done with a plot, like our stage shows, but there is a compilation CD marking our 10th anniversary. That CD contains lots of favorites, alternate versions, and even a few oddities that don't appear anywhere else.
Daniel/AR: I think I’ll give you that ridiculous question now. If right now, readers were only going to listen to 1-3 songs of C.O.G. which would you prefer them to listen to in order to give them a good feel for the band?
Anne: I’ve been telling you this whole time – ‘Evil is Fun’ is number one! A close second is ‘The Creep,’ and third would be ‘What A Friend We Have in Cthulhu!’
Ivan: ‘Evil is Fun.’ ‘Evil is Fun.’ ‘Evil is Fun.’
McLummox: That was that first one that didn't make me haggis twitch from the stupidity actually... ‘Mallet of metal,’ ‘Zombie Apocalypse BBQ,’ ‘Funky Fresh.’
Dr. Z: ‘Bow 2 the COG,’ ‘Labcoat’ and ‘Funky Fresh.’
Max:
1. ‘I Scream.’
2. ‘I Think Therefore I Rock.’
3. ‘Fargenargle.’
Remy: ‘Bow to Me,’ ‘Evil Is Fun’ and ‘Everyone Dies (But Me).’
Pinkerton: You meant to say, an EVIL feel, didn’t you? Of course we are best represented by our theme song, ‘BOW 2 ME’, my famous retelling of my humble personal origins entitled ‘I HAVE THE POWER’, and of course my recent philosophical treatise entitled ‘I THINK THEREFORE I ROCK.
Other individuals might tell you that songs like ‘SCIENCE PARTY’, ‘M.I.L.K.’ or ‘MALLET OF METAL’ are worthy introductions to the full sonic force of the Consortium of Genius. These individuals have obviously imbibed a bit too deeply from the proverbial well of hypnotronic kool aid, and are not to be trusted.
Lewis D’Aubin: Our most popular tracks, according to iTunes, have been Science Party, Mallet of Metal, and Brain Wrap. But one of the unique things about our music is that any given fan will generally name a different favorite. Of course, we like all our songs but with a repertoire of over 50 tunes, it's difficult for us to pick exactly what we're going to play live!
Daniel/AR: Let’s also have you give a description of your latest album. I want you to convince readers to check it out and hopefully buy it. Instead of adjectives describe the album as if it were a shoe that they absolutely had to have.
Anne: Do you like evil? Do you like fun? Do you like supervillians? Do you like zombies? Do you like lab girls? Do you like stories? Do you like holding a CD in your hands? Do you like waffles? Do you like glitter? Do you like stuffed animals? Do you like bombs? Do you like listening to new things? If you answered yes to any of the questions above, you MUST listen to this album. Especially because….I said so.
Ivan: This shoe is most incredible shoe of all shoes in history. There is none like it, and none that will ever be like it. It is inspirational and motivational. You grandchildrens will talk about this shoe. This shoe is love.
McLummox: Well it's a great jumbled pile O' crap that barely stands up on the first listen! How's that for yer bloody shoe!?
Dr. Z: Nice comfortable flat leather embroidered with gold and many other colors ending with a lovely curl at the tippy toes.
F13: ssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooo h h h h hu.....
Max: This Album is the Doc Martins of the Musical World.
Remy: “Hey Kids! Want to learn how to be a super Supervillain? Pick up our album today!”
Pinkerton: Ahhh, the old ‘shoe’ metaphor. Very well. PURCHASE OUR ALBUM ‘MUSIC FOR SUPERVILLAINS’, OR YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF SPENDING YOUR TIME EXTRICATING OUR PROVERBIAL JACKBOOTS FROM YOUR NOT-SO-PROVERBIAL POSTERIOR! You see? I’m obviously a marketing genius as well.
Lewis D’Aubin: I'm no good at marketing, but I think my bassist put it like this: listening to the C.O.G. is like sneezing ... just far more pleasant! Or wait, maybe he was describing something else. So let me try myself... basically, our albums are chock full of your favorite songs; you've just never been able to listen to them while you're awake!
Daniel/AR: Wait a second. What’s that sound outside? Is there a car chase going on? Since this is your virtual world, what exactly is going on out there?
Anne: You’re telling me we’ve been in my virtual world this WHOLE TIME?! *snap into puppy fields* It appears to be nothing more than a whole bunch of dogs outside. What’s this?! It seems they found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! Now they’re giving it to me and making me their queen! I’M QUEEN OF THE WORLD! I mean, Ahem, It was nothing more than a unicorn chasing a car again. Pretty standard stuff, buddy.
Ivan: There is 1973 Dodge Dart attempting to do donuts in parking lot of Secret Lab. I hate to disappoint, but that is all it really is.
McLummox: Nothing. Keep your eyes closed and put out your hands.
Chronotis: Is that my time machi-- er, I mean my CAR I see out there? Who on earth...?! (checks his wrist watch and runs crashing through the nearest window heedless of danger to life or property other than his own).
Max: (looks up and listens, tilting his head slightly). I know that engine. That is a Chrysler LeBaron. It is obvious that the Baron is simply trying to collect on a shipment that someone foolishly tried to skip out paying on. Oh? You have never heard of The Baron? He is a great man. He once held a fiefdom known as Fat City under his iron fist for years. You name it, he was had a finger in each pie: Drugs, Prostitution, Gun Running, Atomic Weapons. (smiles hearing the sound of Harley Davidsons). And that would be his gang, the Gentlemen of Leisure.....
Remy: It’s a drag race between an S2000 and a 2003 Mustang Cobra (with dual exhaust). I’ve been hearing about this race for awhile, and I’m partial to Mustangs… Wait for it… wait for it… [[[Giant explosion in the background]]] In case you’re curious, the Cobra just won. Please continue, Daniel (smiles)
Pinkerton: Probably those pesky extraterrestrials, complaining about our noise pollution yet again. They would do well to remember that those who complain loudest are NEVER HEARD FROM AGAIN. The fact that our music is engineered loud enough to cut through the airless vacuum of space is a personal source of pride in my scientific achievement!
Daniel/AR: Let’s get back to your latest album. What decided the fact that it would involve zombies?
Anne: Zombies are surprisingly easily trainable. They also make good grub. What more could you ask for?
Ivan: Zombies pretty much decide for themselves. You cannot argue with zombie. If you do, he just eat your brain.
McLummox: Pinkerton is kind of a mental zombie. This was a logical development for our art to go through.
Dr. Z: They keep coming and coming.
Max: No comment.
Remy: Dr. P…
Pinkerton: Again, DOLT, that decision was unfortunately made by my wonderfully horrible sister Formelda. If I didn’t love her so, I would zombify her myself! Either way, I am admitting her back into the Secret Lab over my colleagues’ dead bodies. Hear that, colleagues?
Lewis D’Aubin: Eh, what can I say? C.O.G. has had a storied history of zombie attacks (see also our YouTube episode 'A Strange Case of Horn Zombies')
Daniel/AR: Your cast is extensive. Does this whole cast make their way to the stage when you play live?
Anne: Sometimes they tell me that I can’t come on the stage with my puppies. Otherwise, as long as the pups aren’t around, we all pretty much share the stage together.
Ivan: For most part, yes. If not everyone is there, that usually means missing person is on some sort of mission. Or sick. We can never be sure without doctor’s note.
Dr. Z: From time to time.
Max: It depends on how much the fools are willing to pay. We all have our price.
Remy: I try to keep Ivan out of my space as much as possible. He’s easier to deter than Dr. Z. For the millionth time, I have no interest in being in his harem!
Pinkerton: Ahh yes… my cast. That was the result of a painful accident involving the foot of my giant robot prototype accidentally coming into contact with my cranium and then with the rest of my skeletal system. As soon as I find out which of my colleagues disabled the safety interlock whilst I was working beneath the robot, they will be needing MUCH more than simple bone repair, mark my words!
Lewis D’Aubin: We've fielded everything from bare minimum guitar/bass/drums/vocals to a full 10-piece lineup for Voodoo Fest 2010. It really depends on the show - size of the stage, how much we're being paid, etc. (that goes double when travel is concerned, unfortunately!) The Voodoo lineup was an experiment involving members from other local bands (special shout out to the ladies of The Local Skank!) But since then we've actually been rehearsing a regular 10-piece lineup that we intend to field much more frequently, starting this fall. It's debuting in New Orleans on July 29th and early results in rehearsal are overwhelmingly AWESOME. You've never seen or heard ANYTHING like the full C.O.G. big band!
Daniel/AR: What bands have you looked up to as inspiration or people/performers etc, have influenced you?
Anne: Two words – William. Shatner.
Ivan: Bach, Billy Preston, & Beelzebub.
Dr. Z: Rush, Dalhar Mendi, Kate Bush, Andrew Loyd Webber, Jaco Pastorius, Al Di meola; Too many to list.
Max: The Misfits, Ramones, Louis Armstrong, and Lady Gaga.
Remy: I look to comic book supervillains for inspiration. As far as music, I do love Dr. Frankenfurter. He sparkles!!!
Pinkerton: I believe you phrased that backwards my fine fellow! Of course, the entire pantheon of musical history has been influenced by ME, as a result of my expeditions into music history via my triumph of invention, the Time Door!
Lewis D’Aubin: I love ALL kinds of music (and I work with lots of great local bands as well in the capacity of Producer.) Growing up my tastes ranged all over the map... I like hard rock, pop, metal, techno, classical, swing, surf, and jazz. Some of my personal favorites include Rush, Ultravox, DEVO, Yes, Mojo Nixon, Tori Amos, King Crimson, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Tchaikovsky, ELP, ELO, John Williams, Thomas Dolby, James Horner, Black Sabbath, and Cheap Trick, but I'd be here all day if I had to attempt to name everything I like to listen to.
Daniel/AR: What about personal role models?
Anne: Two words – Sergi. Bruyukhonen. Look him up, he’s a doll.
Ivan: Tesla and that guy that ties all those weather balloons to lawn chair to get to moon. Sure, he is idiot, but he is idiot WITH VISION!!!
Dr. Z: Jim Jones.
F13: rrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooollllllllllllll...........
Max: I would simply have to say that my sister Anne and I would definitely have to look up to our parents, who struggled hard against the oppression of .....I Mean, that's an easy question! My personal Role Model would have to be The Duke Wellington.
Remy: Dr. P is an excellent mentor in the ways of evil.
Pinkerton: SEE ABOVE
Lewis D’Aubin: Most of my role models are fictitious characters! Real people, I have learned, are far too fallible.
Daniel/AR: Has anyone compared you to Green Jelly?
Anne: HOW DID YOU KNOW?! I’m partially green, you know? Due to the radiation.
Ivan: Don’t you mean Green Jello? Come on, even Ivan still of CD with ‘Three Little Pigs’ before lawsuit hit!
McLummox: You would be the first.
Dr. Z: No, but that sounds tasty.
F13: jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyy........mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Max: Not that I am aware of.
Remy: I just realized that you’re still alive, and this annoys me.
Pinkerton: Only once, when I was partially dissolved in a pool of corrosive acid. Unfortunately for them, I was holding the Deth Lazer remote, and my arms were still managing communication with my nervous system. Please don’t remind me again of that painful experience, or I shall have to give YOU a personal refresher course on what that ordeal feels like!
Lewis D’Aubin: Back in the day, we used to get compared most often to DEVO when people attempted to relate what we do to something familiar. Honestly, it's one of the trickiest things about promoting this band - the almost complete impossibility of putting the concept across in a single sentence.
Chronotis: (shouts from outside where he's wrangling a runaway car with a sonic screwdriver and a banana): None on mine, thanks! And just ONE sugar! (strange whirring noises continue).
Daniel/AR: Do you hate when you’re compared to a band like that?
Anne: Band? I thought you were talking about my physical appearance.
Ivan: No, they beat system. Good for them. Of course, now they are all working at Taco Bell, so there is no silver lining in that cloud…
McLummox: That's a bloody band? They're probably shite!
Dr. Z: Like tasty treats? No I don’t mind.
Max: Why would I hate it? Puppet shows are so fun to watch!
Remy: (Pulls out a knife). There are many things I’m hating at this moment.
Pinkerton: Ah, I misinterpreted your question; you misspelled the word ‘Jello’. Obviously, only the most idiotic of individuals would confuse our high-minded goals and achievements with the questionable heroics of a group whose main claim to fame seems to be capturing the attention of the attorneys employed by a manufacturer of a delicious green slime-like dessert.
Daniel/AR: What other things do you hate being compared to?
Anne: Cats. They are vile and poop in a box.
Ivan: New Kids on Block.
McLummox: The English and the Americans.
F13: liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffffff.......
Max: I hate being compared to my sister. We are completely different people, but we are always "two peas in a pod" Apparently.
Remy: Dolls.
Pinkerton: What I resent most if being called ‘my good fellow’, or ‘good Doctor Pinkerton’… would you morons kindly get it through your thick skulls that there are no molecules of goodness left within my anatomy! I had them all surgically removed years ago, so stop trying to appeal to the ‘good’ side of my nature, because there isn’t one!
Daniel/AR: Let’s get to the comic book part. Music for Supervillains was complimented with a comic book. I must say that it was a sweet treat! Is this standard or part of a deluxe edition?
Anne: I’m not sure…. Ask Dr. Pinkerton. He doesn’t let me touch the comics. To quote him…. “Get your glittery hand off the comics! You’re ruining the net worth!”
Ivan: It depends on what your standards are being. If getting most for buck is standard, then yes, it is standard edition. If you are used to being cheapskate, then it is part of deluxe edition. Of course, you have not seen the ‘Supreme Edition’.
McLummox: This is how we do standard for this album. We wanted to raise the bar and give you something that's worth the money. Because the album really isn't (Bonk!) AYE! Bugger off Pinkerton! Twas a joke! Right, sorted.
Dr. Z: Deluxe. It can be purchased at our shows, but a few have been found for exorbitant prices on eBay.
Max: Wait...there is a comic Book???
Remy: Just like with all comic books, they are only read by the exceptional.
Pinkerton: Deluxe, limited edition. Consider yourself VERY lucky to have that in your possession! Study and learn it well; someday, your very LIFE may revolve around your ability to recall entire pages of the Music for Supervillains comic book, whilst at the business end of an enormous robot’s gun barrel!
Lewis D’Aubin: Deluxe. The comic is only available at our shows, and at a couple of the finer New Orleans comic shops.
Daniel/AR: What prompted the decision to have a comic book as part of the experience?
Anne: Have you been to a comic book store before? They’re rad! A book with pictures is exactly my cup of tea.
Ivan: Doesn’t everyone put out comic book as part of experience?!
Dr. Z: For those with less imagination, you need to provide visuals. Other people just like to hoard first printings of important and influential works of art like our Comic book.
Max: I am in this Comic Book???
Remy: COMIC BOOKS F&*#ING ROCK!!!!!
Pinkerton: Our live lectures are scientifically engineered to overwhelm multiple senses simultaneously. Accordingly, we figured that it would be expeditious to supplement the audio with a visual component, in order to better overwhelm the listener and REPLACE their imagination with our own!
Lewis D’Aubin: On the last CD 'In COG We Trust' (2003), we went all out with CD packaging. That was still at the dawn of the iPod era, and CD's hadn't become as devalued as they are now. These days, when people just rip the CD and put it on the shelf, never to be looked at again, we thought it'd be an awful waste of effort to make another package like that. So instead of creating another thick CD booklet, we put our resources towards the comic book, and the response has made us really glad we did!
Daniel/AR: Are the artists of the comic friends, family, band members or paid professionals we may have heard of?
Anne: You may have, you may have not. In either accord, just know that they kick ass.
Ivan: All of the above.
Dr. Z: Yes.
Remy: They’re all of the above… and no, none of them were threatened at gunpoint (for very long)
Pinkerton: I understand that one of them may or may not be employed by Marvel and another one of them apparently has some notoriety in drawing rock posters for the likes of the Misfits, Rob Zombie, etc. All of this was of course irrelevant once they were enslaved by our hypno-beam… suffice it to say, you won’t soon hear from any of them again!
Lewis D’Aubin: The comic book contains a wonderful range of contributors, all the way from longtime talented fans of the band, to professional comics artists like Roland Paris (Spiderman) and rock poster artists like Allen Jaeger (Misfits, Pantera, Rob Zombie). The cover was done by longtime C.O.G. artist Egypt Urnash, who has also done every previous album cover AND personally cel-animated drumbot!
Daniel/AR: Do any of your other albums have complimentary comics?
Anne: No comics, rather, I put tons of glitter into each of them.
Ivan: Not yet. But we think we are on to somethings here…
Dr. Z: No, but we gave one out at DragonCon a few years ago. That is quite the collector’s item.
Max: I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WE HAD A COMIC BOOK! ANNE! WHAT DID YOU DO TO US!?!?!?!?!?!
Remy: No, but our Future Historian Chronotis may travel back and write a dissertation on the ethics of our previous albums and submit them to the Intergalactic Council of Evil.
Pinkerton: No, but completists will certainly be interested in seeking out our limited run mini-comic ‘tract’ issued in 2006 for our 10th anniversary. It was entitled “Who Are the COG and Why Should You Be Worried?”
Lewis D’Aubin: No, but back in 2006 we did issue a limited run 10th Anniversary comic, which we handed out as a promotion during our appearance at DragonCon. You can view that comic here: http://www.consortiumofgenius.com/comic
Daniel/AR: What the crap? Someone’s knocking. Who is it and why are they knocking?
Anne: How do you keep hearing these knocking noises? Are you interfering with my virtual world again?
Ivan: Jawas. Always coming by at dinner time! Tells them we already have droids.
McLummox: It's the fashion police. They are asking for Daniel...
Dr. Z: If it’s Filbert, I’m not here.
Max: Its Probably Anne because I just screamed her name....
Remy: Oh, it’s Drumbot. He’s picking me up for our date.
Pinkerton: Most probably those vampirates again. Their promised hemoglobular donation is now several minutes overdue. Thus, I’m becoming more and more inclined to simply hand you over to them and tell them to confiscate your corpuscles themselves, for I am too busy a scientist to bother draining blood from every body that bothers me!
Daniel/AR: Are they going to give me some delicious Yoo Hoo?
Anne: YooHoo?! Where?! I’m going to drink all of that on you. Sorry, chum.
Ivan: Why, are they to poison you? Yoo Hoo, is the swill left over from chemical spills. Sure it is evil, but that not always a good thing. Unless you are being sponsored by Yoo Hoo, then it is better than sunshine. And it cures cancer.
McLummox: Not bloody likely!
Dr. Z: Otherwise known as Chocolate City water?
F13: hhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooo.....
Max: Only after she has her way with you, and I do not mean in the fun sense.
Remy: No, but there’s a good chance he’ll strangle you if you try to make a pass at me… If I don’t do it myself first.
Pinkerton: Yoo Hoo is an abomination in the face of chocolate MILK drinkers everywhere! Never speak of it again.
Daniel/AR: In this virtual world, how would my fate end? Would there be any chance of Anne Hathaway or a younger Demi Moore rocking my world first?
Anne: It would end with you shaving off your goatee and revealing to the world your double chin. But don’t worry, I’ll let Anne Hathaway rock your world first, and immediately afterwards, she’ll throw glitter in your eyes, and then a unicorn will stab you in the heart. Don’t worry though, it won’t be painful
Ivan: No, but there is being virtual representations of both Selma and Florence from ‘Night Court’.
McLummox: Hahahahahahahaha!
Dr. Z: Excuse me, I am needed by my harem. Thank you, come again!
F13: aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn......
Max: Well, Anne would walk in, I would hand her the Detonator. She would hit it, and since you are such a fat slob, it would not really do much, so I would have to approach you as you excused yourself such bad manners in your flatulence, and take this knife (unsheaths it from his boot) and stick it right in your eyeball while Anne watched and laughed.
Remy: Your fate will be the S2000 driver becoming a zombie and devouring your flesh.
Pinkerton: I am told that the human mind is prone to inventing all sorts of gobblygook at the moment of DEATH… you can imagine all you want, but you likely won’t have much time in which to do so while being riven in twain!
Daniel/AR: What about a Salma Hayek without a unibrow?
Anne: You can’t keep asking for all these women, you know. How about this, you can have me rock your world, but there are a few conditions. First, you must take me to dinner. Then you must take me to lazer tag. Then, you must buy me one thousand teacup puppies. Then, you must wear a glitter body suit. Then, we will take a unicorn ride. Finally, I’ll rock your world.
Ivan: You have Salma Hayek, and you going to let unibrow get in way?!?! You are not a man.
McLummox: no no no. I would think would get Tim Curry.
F13: brrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooo........
Max: Then you would be taken advantage of by Salma Hayek WITH the Unibrow! <<evil Chuckle>><o:p></o:p></span>
Remy: Negative. Salma has standards.
Pinkerton: Is that what the Angel of Death looks like these days?
Daniel/AR: Since I’d rather see what real fate awaits my demise I think I’ll wrap this up. Where can people go to see and hear more of your stuff?
Anne: I’ve been told of this thing on the interwebs called facebook. Oh and consortiumofgenius.com. Oh and in my head.
Ivan: All over the internets and world. Well, the internets now, and the world soon.
McLummox: HELL! Oops! sorry... a bit bat shit today really... Well, obviously they can come to our shows!
Drumbot: Hello, I’m back! Did I miss anything? I can see from everybody’s expressions that I not only didn’t miss anything, but you stupid meatbags are all pretty envious of me for having sat this one out. Score another one for the robot!
F13: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssshhhhhhhooooooooooooooo
Max: Go to our Website at: http://www.consortiumofgenius.com
Remy: They can go to www.consortiumofgenius.com to learn more about us and our evil deeds. And to see us in action, they can hit up Nerdapalooza in Orlando or catch us in New Orleans on July 29th at the Shamrock.
Pinkerton: Online, your best destination remains: www.ConsortiumOfGenius.com. All your questions can be answered there MUCH more safely than the enormous risk one takes in accosting us personally with this idiotic, imbecilic interview!
Lewis D’Aubin: The website has evolved over the years and contains a ridiculous amount of material to dig through. You can get to it here: http://www.consortiumofgenius.com. But none of this is any substitute for the live experience! You simply have to see and hear the Consortium of Genius live onstage, to really take it all in.
Daniel/AR: Is there anything else you would like to add?
Anne: Did you know that puppies are simply the greatest animals in the world?! I wish I could own one though…I’ve been told I’m not allowed to own any cuddly creatures because I tend to, well, not make them so…cuddly….
Ivan: Yes. 7+34=41
McLummox: My bar tab to your credit card.
Chronotis: (crashes in through another window.) All right, it's under control now, Pink-- er, I mean BOSS. Now, then. Where's that tea and toast?
F13: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!
Max: More to my body count, why do you ask?
Remy: This is the best job I’ve ever had! I’ve never had so much awesome equipment at my disposal. It makes hiding the bodies so much easier…
Pinkerton: Not really; the hypno beam has had more than enough time in which to completely rearrange every neuron in your measly mind. You are now completely in our power. (laughs maniacally)
Lewis D’Aubin: Sure! We're always open to invitations to perform elsewhere. For 2012 we've already been invited to play at a couple conventions farther north than we've ever managed to tour - Marscon in Twin Cities, MN in March, and World Steam Expo in Dearborn MI in May. We're also available for birthday parties and bar mitzvahs, so give us a call today! With the creativity of our new 2011 lineup, the songwriting has been overdriven to an insane, unprecedented pace! I predict that you won't have to wait nearly as long for the next album as you did for 'Music For Supervillains' (which currently holds the record for tardiness at 6 years gestation.) But while you wait, please dig through our back catalog; there's LOTS of great music in our past that never goes out of date. We're looking forward to rocking you in the FUTURE! See you at an upcoming lecture.
Daniel/AR: Last question. What are two other horror icons you’d love to barbecue and what sides would go well with them?
Anne: The Thing and Norman Bates. They both should be served luke-warm, with a side of unicorn stew.
Ivan: Pinhead, because you can stick veggies all over those things like kabobs, and Freddy Krueger, because he is almost done as it is.
McLummox: You are a horror to me.
Chronotis: I'd like to barbecue Pinkerton, but only because I enjoy CHICKEN SALAD.
Drumbot: Hello, I’m back! Did I miss anything? I can see from everybody’s expressions that I not only didn’t miss anything, but you stupid meatbags are all pretty envious of me for having sat this one out. Score another one for the robot!
F13: llllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeprrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkoooooooon.......
Max: The Tall Man, with a side of corn on the cob. Frankenstein with some dipping sauce. I always have liked cuisine from all walks of life.
Remy: I’d barbeque Vincent Price and eat him with a side of roasted raven. Also, I’m tempted to barbeque Michael Bay, but 1. He’s not a horror icon, and 2. That would actually be considered a public service, and I don’t do those.
Pinkerton: You see? It’s the presence of ridiculous notions that like which prove that your MIND is now MINE. Through the thought amplification process augmented by this very interview, we’ll be in a better position to take over the world – one brain at a time.
Daniel/AR: It has been an absolute pleasure! Thanks for allowing such a unique interview to take place. I wish you the very best. I can’t wait to see what you’ll cook up on your next album.
Anne: Oh, the pleasure has been all mine. I can’t wait to cook you up….I mean, cook up some swell music for the next album!
Ivan: No problems. We have open menu on next album, and now are taking dinner requests. Bear in mind that Ivan is lactose intolerant…
McLummox: Right then, sorted. Off we go!
Drumbot: That reminds me of a little bistro near here that serves both humans AND droids... come on, Remy, let’s ditch these idiots and get busy with some barbecue. Sayonara, suckers!
F13: Why thank you kind sir, this interview has been both pleasurable and informative.....GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH!
Remy: I’ll try my hardest to make sure we don’t cook up your spleen… No promises.
Pinkerton: Very happy to hear that you are perceiving PLEASURE… of course, that is merely your meager malodorous grey matter, multitasking furiously, attempting to overcompensate for overcomplicated concepts it cannot possibly comprehend! But fear not… YOU are powerless to stop us! And with the help of individuals such as yourself, this planet will shortly be property of the Consortium of Genius. So display your obedience now and BOW to the COG!
Lewis D’Aubin: With the creativity of our new 2011 lineup, the songwriting has been overdriven to an insane, unprecedented pace! I predict that you won't have to wait nearly as long for the next album as you did for Music For Supervillains (which currently holds the record for tardiness at 6 years gestation.) But while you wait, please dig through our back catalog; there's LOTS of great music in our past that never goes out of date. We're looking forward to rocking you in the FUTURE! See you at an upcoming lecture.
Daniel C. Morrison – Alternative Revolt
Contact: Lewis aka Dr. Pinkerton, lead vocalist
